


Vengeful Retribution

by AnchoredTether



Category: Tales of Berseria
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Alternate Universe, Angst, Blood and Gore, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post-Canon, Post-Endgame, Spoilers, Trauma, also this is rated explicit mainly bc of dark themes and discussion of suicide, and graphic/disturbing images, dark themes, gore galore, lots of sidequests are mentioned, so do the sidequests or you'll be lost
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-01-05 03:37:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12182145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnchoredTether/pseuds/AnchoredTether
Summary: ---!! MAJOR SPOILERS !!---This story picks up after the ending of the game. For the full summary, see the notes at the top of chapter one. I also reference stuff from SEVERAL side quests, so if you don't want those spoiled and you want to know what the characters are referencing, be sure to do them or watch youtube videos of the cutscenes (I mainly reference side quests involving Rokurou, but there's also ones in reference to Seres and Velvet).SPOILER-FREE SUMMARY::Rokurou thought nothing had changed, until hefeltsomething he could only describe as innatelyhuman. Velvet swore she felt awarmth, a luxury she was certain she would never feel again after her humanity died.It seemed even daemons could change.





	1. Sunder

**Author's Note:**

> _Rokurou thought nothing had changed, until he_ felt _something he could only describe as innately_ human _. Velvet swore she felt a_ warmth _, a luxury she was certain she would never feel again after her humanity died._
> 
> _It seemed even daemons could change._
> 
> _In the wake of the aftermath of sealing Innominat, harmony is restored, but Rokurou feels like the scales are grossly imbalanced. Even when Maotelus cleansed the world of malevolence, Rokurou's still a daemon, and he's still a daemon for a_ reason _. There are too many loose ends for him to be satisfied, and he craves to discover the truth and unlock a future for the woman who ultimately lost everything._
> 
> _After all, malevolence is necessary to avenge the one you love._

 

 

"You said you were a yaksha. Is that why you retain your human appearance?"

"Hmm?" Rokurou looked over at Velvet with a raised eyebrow. They were in a shared inn room, each sitting in their respective bed. Before he could speak further, Velvet continued, her knuckles raised to her lips in thought.

"You say you're a daemon and yet the only daemons I've come across look more akin to Dyle. Completely transformed…monstrous even."

"Could make the same observation towards you." Rokurou added blatantly, albeit his tone was anything but hostile. "You don't even have any markings like I do…although I suspect there's a reason your entire left arm is bandaged." Velvet recoiled slightly from this, her gaze faltering for only a moment before regaining their steely stare once more. " _I_ certainly wouldn't go to the trouble of bandaging each individual finger to cover even the fingernails unless there was something to hide."

Velvet stood up from her bed and strode over to Rokurou, causing him to lean back slightly with his eye wide in surprise. He thought she was going to punch him for being so blunt, but she paused, only a foot away from him and only slightly taller even though she was standing and he sitting on the bed. As if debating whether to continue or not, her bandaged arm slowly rose, her fingertips gracing the obsidian edges of his jawline. She kept her hand there for a moment as if asking for permission, and when Rokurou stayed still as death, she continued, caressing her hand up the side of his face as if he were a lover, and brushing his bangs away to reveal his daemonicy.

Her brows furrowed, and her expression looked near painful, as if she were looking at the rawness of a fatal wound. She had seen the edges of black clawing into his face and neck like some tribal tattoo, and occasionally saw a glint of crimson from his right eye, but she had never seen the extent of evil etched upon his face. Gruesome red marks trenched through the black like a burn. Such details of his mark were always hidden by his dark hair. Her golden eyes stared into the daemonic eye that looked back at her unwavering, the red and black ringed iris with a feral slitted pupil housed in a bright red sclera looked like something that belonged on a bloodthirsty dragon.

"Your arm looks the same, doesn't it?"

Rokurou's voice broke her out of her trance as she took a quick step back, about to release her hand from his face but his was quicker as he gently held her wrist and kept it there. Velvet looked at his human eye, as if his voice and very being were connected to that amber iris while the other side of his face was…something else entirely. She made a soft sound of protest, uncertain how to answer or how to even find her voice. She didn't want to expose herself so quickly to someone she barely knew, but then again, here she was, mostly trusting him and allowing him to tag along, and standing in close proximity to him with her hand intimately touching a hidden part of the daemon.

"You don't seem to care to cover yours up." She said in a roundabout way of answering his question, reflecting the focus off of her back to him. "At least…not fully."

"Can't exactly bandage half my face." Rokurou said plainly. "It'd also be difficult to see."

"You can see…?" Velvet meant to make a retort about how he couldn't see through his bangs either, but somehow her voice betrayed her piqued interest in the fact that his right eye still functioned normally to begin with. It looked too strange to function, even by a dragon's eye standards. She was mesmerized by the movements of that iris, and the slow blink as his eyelids lowered.

"Even better than this one." He lifted his left index finger to tap just below his human eye. "All my senses have improved, but my vision has become…different. I don't know how to put it." He shifted his gaze to look at her hand and where his hand curled around her wrist. "You bandage your whole arm because it looks just like your daemon claw, am I right?"

Velvet stood still a moment longer, blinking a few times as she peered down at the samurai's questioning gaze. She lowered her hand, palm up, out in front of her, with Rokurou's hand still softly wrapping around her bandages. She lowered her eyes and let out a soft sigh of defeat. With her right hand she pulled off his, and reached for the loose end of the bandage that lie where his hand once was. She carefully peeled back a few stripes so her forearm was exposed to him, raw and vulnerable.

Why was she showing him weakness? Maybe a part of her felt bad for prying upon his obscured face because of her damn curiosity. It ran in the family, and she could never fully blame her younger brother when he got into too much trouble because he simply wanted to learn about the world around him. He learned it from her, after all. The man before her said he owed her a debt, and that he would fight alongside her until it was paid, so maybe a bit of intimacy was a necessary prerequisite if she was going to avenge Laphi and destroy Artorious. From what she had seen of Rokurou so far, it seemed they could learn and gain a lot from each other - even if only as fellow daemons. Velvet saw the benefits of having a formidable samurai vowing to fight alongside her, but perhaps there was something to be gained in having a companion who could _understand_.

"Huh. I was right." Was all he could say. No fear in his eyes, no falter in his voice. It was as if he were confirming that she had freckles, not a daemonic abirritation. Her skin was black as a void, just like his, and marred with bright red trenches that resembled fresh blood. Her therion claw looked exactly the same except distorted in size and pulsing with hunger. It only made sense that her arm normally remained tainted.

"Yeah. You were." Velvet answered emotionlessly, wrapping herself back up and securing the end of the white strip with a better feeling of security. Her arm fell to her side and she looked back up at him, her expression hard. It was time to return to her original question. "So why are you the same? You're not a therion. And you're clearly not like most daemons. Yet…"

"Did you lose your arm?" Rokurou asked abruptly, tilting his head thoughtfully. The question caught Velvet off guard. Her eyes widened momentarily before she crossed her arms.

"Yeah…the man who killed my brother…did this to me."

Rokurou frowned in thought. She could only see his amber eye now, but somehow she could still feel his daemonic eye burning into her questioningly. He lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck, his gaze lost in a thousand yard stare before returning his focus to the woman looking down at him.

"When I became a daemon, it's because I was dead."

"You _died_..?"

"My face is marked like this for the same reason your arm is."

Velvet turned away from him. She almost wanted to say she was sorry, but she couldn't afford to feel pity for someone she barely knew. She tried to remove the gruesome thoughts that marred her mind as to how he got his marks - no, _scars_ \- but she could already feel her stomach churning at the idea. After a long moment of silence, Velvet found her voice again as she headed back towards her bed.

"For what it's worth, I hope your condition is similar to mine…and that you're stronger because of it."


	2. Deprivation

 

 

Rokurou would admit that it would take some getting used to Dyle being human again. He only ever knew the man as a lizard, and although his voice was mostly the same it still felt like he was someone else entirely. Kamoana and Medissa changed as well, appearing completely human once more.  
  
And yet, here Rokurou remained as a daemon.  
  
"What do you reckon you'll do now?" Dyle asked the samurai. The two of them sat on the deck near the stern of the Van Eltia, sharing a drink at some ungodly hour of the night. It was still and quiet, only a few crew members awake to make sure the ship sailed accordingly. Rokurou let out a long sigh into the cool air, his breath visible in the darkness.  
  
"Not sure." He took another swig of his sake and tilted his head back to look at the stars. "Shigure's dead, I've paid my debt to Velvet…" For some reason it was hard for her name to form in his mouth. Most would agree, Rokurou had gone above and beyond 'repaying his debt' for the woman simply telling him where Stormhowl was stored, and yet…Rokurou felt like he hadn't repaid her _anything_. He helped her defeat Artorious which was her ultimate goal. That should have been enough. Deep down, he felt it never would be.  
  
"And you're still a daemon even though that kid cleansed the malevolence." Dyle let out a deep chuckle of amusement. "I guess the world ain't so simple now, is it?"  
  
Rokurou was silent a moment. Even he was still at a loss as to _why_ he hadn't changed. Laphi - no, Maotelus - said he could take away the malevolence but he couldn't change peoples' _hearts_. What the hell did that even mean? Rokurou's thirst to slaughter his brother had been sated. He agreed he was nothing near saintly in nature, but was he really so lost a cause in the void of evil that not even an emperian of light could save him? Rokurou never cared much for things like morality but this paradox still haunted the back of his mind.  
  
"Suppose not." He answered simply. He looked over at his pirate friend and changed the subject. "How's it feel to be human again?"  
  
"Pretty great, actually!" Dyle said with a laugh. "I got pretty used to bein' a lizard an all, and it didn't bother me too much that I'd probably remain that way forever. Kinda just came to accept it. But man is it nice to be warm blooded again! Ha ha!"  
  
"Were there…any other perks you got back that you lost as a daemon?" He asked with a frown.  
  
"Nah, I didn't lose my sense of taste like Velvet or anything weird like that. Becoming a daemon was mostly a physical change, it would seem. Maybe you and Velvet are strange exceptions."  
  
"Well, we didn't exactly turn into lizards." Rokurou laughed for a moment, then frowned again in thought. He recalled the night where Velvet first looked at his face and they spoke of their losses and how they were still daemons despite their human facades. Most daemons were monsters. They changed physically, became violent, acquired bloodlust. Rokurou and Velvet, on the other hand…something was taken from them and their malevolence changed them in turn. Rokurou lost his emotions. Velvet lost her senses. Perhaps it had to be one or the other - change physically or lose something to become equally less human. "But we still became less than human. There's also the fact that she was a therion and I'm a yaksha….that might have something to do with it."  
  
"Different kinds of malevolence brings about different kinds of daemons. Interesting." Dyle finished off the last of his drink with a satisfying sigh and placed a hand on the samurai's shoulder. "Well, for what it's worth, Rokurou, I don't care how humane you are or ain't. You're still a friend."  
  
Rokurou gave him half a smile. "Thanks, Dyle. And you're still a lizard to me." He threw his head back in a boisterous laugh.  
  
"Hey, now that ain't fair!"  
  
\---  
  
A hangover was to be expected in the morning, but Rokurou felt even worse than that. Eizen's piercing gaze gave him a questioning look, but otherwise he didn't inquire. Rokurou appreciated that about the malak. He didn't exactly feel like talking…about anything, really. His conversation with Dyle got the gears in his head turning and he couldn't shake the bad feeling that churned his stomach into knots.  
  
The Van Eltia was currently sailing towards Yseult. Eleanor left the crew along with Kamoana, Medissa, and Prince Percival when they returned to Port Zekson, planning to travel to Loegres. The rest of them departed towards the southern island to meet up with the scout ship and drop off Magilou and Grimoirh. The witch claimed she would like to spend a nice vacation at the beach after all the trouble they went through. It sounded like Dyle was going to stay with the Van Eltia, and although Rokurou was the only one who could see Eizen now, the reaper was going to continue with his crew.  
  
Rokurou still didn't know what he was going to do.  
  
\---  
  
Several weeks passed until Rokurou decided to part ways with the Van Eltia at Hellawes. Seeing the small, snow-driven town brought back memories of when he and Velvet and Magilou first arrived, and he felt an odd tightness in his chest. Since when did he become so nostalgic? It might explain a few other things.  
  
He went without sleep as he traveled from Hellawes to Mierchio, only pausing to occasionally eat something. He would have continued on his journey to Mount Killaraus if it weren't for an unexpected visit from someone Rokurou subconsciously wished he would never have to see again.  
  
"If you keep going at that rate you'll die of sleep deprivation, you know."  
  
Rokurou stopped in his tracks, closing his eyes in frustration and sighing. "Never thought I'd see you again." He turned around to face the source of the voice, the pudgy white cat sitting atop the front steps to someone's house.  
  
"It is rather convenient that you're still a daemon and can actually see me." Morgrim stated in a bored tone. Although, she always sounded like that, so she might not have actually been all that bored. "It's rather lonely being a malak among humans when they cannot perceive you."  
  
"Pity." Rokurou said without any sympathy and started walking again, ignoring the malak. He hated cats and he had no interest in talking to the one who assisted Shigure.  
  
"You've changed since I last saw you."  
  
He stopped again, huffing out a sigh, and turned his head to look over his shoulder. "It's _that_ noticeable?"  
  
"For a malak, perhaps. For one who knew your brother, even more so."  
  
Rokurou was silent a moment, diverting his gaze to the snow. His breaths came in silvery exhales, his breathing slow and effortful. The sleep deprivation was catching up to him but he continued on, leaving the cat behind. Morgrim watched the samurai leave with a sort of wistfulness in her eyes.  
  
\---  
  
Rokurou wasn't expecting to run into a code red daemon.  
  
The occasional daemon he had to fight on his journey was effortless work, like cutting down pesky rats. He would admit that after two nights without sleep the fighting became a little more strenuous, but still nothing he couldn't handle. The last time he was here with his companions they killed a red daemon, so Rokurou didn't even think there'd be another one by the time he passed through the Gaiburk icefield.  
  
His senses were fading. He could feel the darkness inside him starting to stir, his daemonic eye alert and bloodthirsty, turning his vision crimson. He was gravely wounded, the hot blood spilling against his skin a stark contrast in the freezing weather. His daemonic markings burned, his heart pounded in a fury of fear. Even if he slaughtered this monster, there was no knowing if he'd still make it back to the village alive. He knew he healed fast, even for a daemon, but could he even remain conscious long enough to survive?  
  
Velvet wouldn't have let herself die. Rokurou was certain of that.  
  
"Damn woman." He muttered under his breath, spitting out trails of crimson, and almost laughing at the concept that even now, the Lord of Calamity was inspiring him to keep on fighting and win. But his senses were dulled, and ultimately he was too slow.  
  
The daemon stroke another blow, causing the samurai to succumb to darkness.


	3. A Different Kind

 

 

"You _idiot_ …" Velvet hissed between clenched teeth as she examined Rokurou's damaged hand. What was he thinking, driving it directly through Shigure's blade? Then she was reminded of her own resolve to avenge her brother - how she would use any means and anyone to accomplish her task, and realized she was no better…  
  
Eleanor and Laphicet started to rush forward to heal his wound, but Velvet saw them approaching and snapped. "Don't you DARE come any closer!! He is _overflowing_ with malevolence. _Damnit_." She held his hand a little tighter - it was practically falling apart in her hands. Rokurou hissed with teeth bared, and when Velvet glanced up at him, he looked downright feral. It didn't scare her, but startled her nonetheless. This whole time of knowing Rokurou he never showed any blatant behavioral signs of being a daemon. He was calm, laid-back, _cheerful_ even, and even though he had a darkly morbid sense of humor and didn't care too much about anything, he was oddly lacking in the malice department for one who claimed to be a daemon, a yaksha at that.  
  
It wasn't until Rokurou snapped at Laphicet earlier, and how she saw him fight against his own _brother_ , and now with him practically growling at her, did she realize how _terrifying_ Rokurou could be.  
  
"I'm _fine_ , Velvet." He hissed, trying to pull his hand away, but she only grasped it tighter, eliciting another snarl out of him.  
  
" _Shut up._ Clearly you're _not_." She looked closely at the damage, her heart sinking lower and lower the more torn muscles and tendons she saw. She was no medical expert, but from all the injuries she had helped heal in Aball, she could tell this should have permanent damage.  
  
"Magilou." Velvet barked the witch's name with a death glare. "Do you mind?"  
  
"Whaha! You don't care if I succumb to malevolence and become an even _eviler_ witch?? How cruel!" She threw up a hand in dramatics, her expression desolate.  
  
Velvet's voice was sharp. "Eleanor and Laphicet are ruled out. And we _can't_ afford the _reaper_ to turn into a _dragon_." Eizen released an unamused grunt, but otherwise didn't deny her statement. "So hurry up and _fix Rokurou_ before I come over there and _break you_."  
  
"Oh my, oh _my_." Magilou responded in a relatively calm manner (considering the situation) as she approached. "I can feel Bienfu shaking in his boots." She stood between the two of them, although slightly inched closer to Velvet, peered at Rokurou's wound, and then pulled out her guardians to begin casting the healing spell. A green light illuminated from the ground where she stood as the arte began to work its magic. Velvet kept her eyes on his hand as if to confirm Magilou's spell would work, while Rokurou never took his eyes off of the concern in her face. Velvet would forever deny it, but Rokurou could tell - he knew - she _cared_.  
  
Somehow the pain was more bearable with her making sure his hand healed. 

 

  
\--- 

 

  
Rokurou awoke screaming.  
  
"Oh good, he's awake." Came a dull and familiar voice. "I thought for certain he was going to give up the ghost."  
  
Rokurou grunted, his breathing coming in heavy. He squinted in pain to see that he was lying in what appeared to be a cave, with Morgrim and a guy he didn't recognize, probably another malak, looking down at him. He wanted to ask a dozen questions, but all that could come out of his gritted teeth was another scream of agony. He couldn't make out the details, but his torso appeared to be in worse condition than Shigure when he cut him down. He reckoned the only reason he was somehow still alive was thanks to his daemonblight.  
  
Morgrim and the stranger said various things to each other as they continued to heal him, but Rokurou quickly fell unconscious once more. 

 

  
\--- 

 

  
His eyes opened with a start, a short inhale disturbing the still atmosphere of the bedroom. It was quiet…too quiet for the raging blood pounding in his brain. He tried to sit up but failed, heaving a painful moan and releasing a loud exhale. He heard the small pitter patter of feet, and once Morgrim leaped onto the bed to sit just a foot in front of Rokurou's face, his expression deadpanned.  
  
"Why'd you bother saving me?" His voice rasped.  
  
"I suppose that's the Rangetsu style when it comes to gratitude." Morgrim said dryly, her sable eyes unamused.  
  
"Just curious. If I were you, I'd leave me to die because I was an idiot."  
  
"No…you wouldn't." She flicked an ear out of irritation. " _'Always return that which you've borrowed, even if you must repay it with your life.'_ You should be familiar with that creed, yes?"  
  
"Well, _yeah_." He said dully as if it were obvious. He sighed, his chest tight with pain, causing him to wince slightly before he continued. "I'm guessing Shigure taught you that one."  
  
"More like the other way around." Morgrim stated simply. "I've served and guided the Rangetsu clan for many generations."  
  
Rokurou's eyes widened in genuine surprise and his eyebrow rose. " _What_."  
  
"There are many malakim who serve the Rangetsu clan, you simply didn't know of it. Only the Lord of your clan could see us before the Advent, but now things are slightly more complicated."  
  
"Because we no longer have a Lord." He said solemnly.  
  
"Technically, you're the Lord of the Rangestu clan now, but seeing as you're a daemon…the rule standing that any swordsman who succumbed to daemonblight would be purged…and yet no one has come to dispose of you."  
  
"Probably because anyone who is left of the Rangetsu clan has no idea that Shigure is dead. He never bothered to take up the position of Lord even though he killed our mother. I'm surprised no one else came for his head for _that_. You don't murder your clan's Lord unless you intend to take their place."  
  
"Shigure never did care about the position…he only wanted to cut down those who were formidable opponents. Your mother just so happened to be one of them." Morgrim's voice almost resembled sympathy, and it made Rokurou want to whack her off the bed. At the moment however, it was hard enough to breathe let alone physically move. "The only immediate family he had left was you, and you came and killed him regardless. As for the branch families, I don't know what they plan to do."  
  
"Wait, if there's a rule that any under my - _our_ clan become daemons they're to be killed, then how come I was sent to Titania instead?" That part wasn't adding up. It was part of the reason he didn't even know about the rule.  
  
"Any high-class daemons were being sent to Titania in order to awaken Innominat. Your malevolence was necessary for the therion Velvet to feed upon, and the Abbey paid a mighty price to imprison you."  
  
"Ha. Is that so?" It was strange to think Artorious placed a high enough sum on his head that his clan broke the rule of slaughtering daemons and turned him into prison instead. The reason he was still alive was thanks to Artorious wanting to resurrect Innominat. That was a strange thought to process.  
  
A silence stretched between them, Rokurou's eyes sizing up the cat as if staring at her long enough would give him the answers he wanted. "Is that why you're a cat instead of looking like a human or a Normin? Does our clan have specific types of malak? They're not _all cats_ , are they?"  
  
" _Not_ a cat. I'm a nekomata." Morgrim frowned. "The malakim of Rangetsu are sometimes referred to as _yokai_ since we're so different. Most of us take the form of nekomata or kitsune, but there are even a few dragons. Not the kind you've encountered, where a malak is overrun with malevolence, no. There are dragon malakim out there that are benevolent and untainted by malevolence. Rare few, however."  
  
"Like Laphicet. Erm, Maotelus." He mused. How had such a big part of his culture stayed hidden until now? He figured it was because humans couldn't see malakim, but it still boggled his mind. "But if it's clan creed to purge any swordsman succumbed to daemonblight, how come you're aiding me instead of killing me?"  
  
If the feline malak before him could hold an expression of irritation, Morgrim did it very well. "Still lacking in the gratitude department."  
  
"Daemon." He reminded her.  
  
"Let's just say I'm repaying you for not killing me that day." She explained. "You easily could have, and had plenty motive. I helped Shigure become stronger, I aided your opponent. You also hate cats."  
  
"Not enough to want to kill them." Rokurou retorted. "Plus, you're not a cat." He said with a grin.  
  
She sighed, ignoring his jest and changing the subject. "It is still poetically ironic."  
  
"Hmm?" He frowned, raising a brow.  
  
"Technically, you and I? We're both yaksha. Merely different kinds. You're a yaksha of malevolence, a war daemon, while I'm a yaksha of benevolence, a spiritual warrior."  
  
Rokurou's eyes were wide with surprise. "No way. Really?"  
  
Morgrim was silent, looking at the samurai's bandaged torso. "At the rate you're headed, you'll become something more than a war daemon."  
  
Rokurou looked down at his exposed chest and the many bloodied bandages that covered him to find the familiar deep purple malevolence seeping out from his wounds like ominous smoke. He remembered Velvet had the same thing happen to her when they were close to fighting Innominat - the malevolence would leak from her as if she were overflowing with it. Was he the same on that day he injured his hand fighting Shigure? Velvet had described him as 'overflowing with malevolence.' He was in too much pain and anger to notice if similar tendrils seeped from his body. "Do you know what's happening to me?" Rokurou asked the malak, wondering if she would know from her eons of experience.  
  
"I've seen it happen before." Morgrim stated. "The average human goes mad and turns into a monster when exposed to too much malevolence, but it's a different matter entirely for Rangetsu samurai since they are trained so severely. The malevolence is rooted much deeper, and if left unchecked, it transforms them into something much worse than a mere daemon. It is why your kind are top priority to hunt down and kill."  
  
Before Rokurou could ask what could be worse than a daemon, Morgrim tilted her head in curiosity and asked, "What malevolence could you possibly be fueling? You've murdered your own brother, and settled the very score that caused you to turn into a daemon in the first place. I would think your daemonicy would slowly cure, or at least remain unchanged."  
  
Her words felt like deeper wounds than the ones marred on his chest. Deep down, he knew the answer. He simply had not come to terms with it.  
  
"I…" He didn't know how to answer. Why should he tell her, anyways? She might have been a servant of his clan, but she wasn't _his_ malak, and she used to be tethered to his brother. But Morgrim was a fountain of knowledge - Rokurou reckoned he would need her wisdom if he were going to achieve the ultimate goal set at the back of his mind.  
  
He wanted to save Velvet.  
  
"Vengeance." He answered somberly. "I have a retribution I need to carry out."  
  
Morgrim said nothing, but her eyes showed she understood. She turned and leaped off the bed, leaving Rokurou to rest. Before she exited the bedroom door, she stated, "It's the driving reason samurai become daemons, so I'm not surprised."  
  
Rokurou closed his eyes. "Are you going to try and kill me the next time we meet?" She saved him this time for sparing her life at Mount Killarous, but from what she told him it sounded like she had an obligation to dispose of him the next time.  
  
"Perhaps." She said dryly. "Depends on how I'm feeling. I was rather fond of your brother, however, and you're an awful lot like him." She turned the corner and was gone.  
  
Rokurou let out a growling sigh of frustration. 

 

  
\---


	4. Bandages

 

 

"Why are you so proud of your clan name if you hate your family so?" The thought was at the back of Velvet's mind as she observed how he said the name  _Rangetsu_  despite all the negative glimpses she understood about the samurai's family.  
  
"I never said I  _hated_  them." Rokurou protested. "And besides, wouldn't you be a little bit proud of your last name if you belonged to the world's most renown line of swordsmen?" He gave her a devilish grin.  
  
Velvet growled. "I- well… I  _guess_." She shook her head. "But you want to kill your own  _brother_. And he killed your mother. I'm not…I'm not judging, but that's not exactly what a happy loving family looks like. If you don't hate them, then…what is it…you feel towards them?"  
  
Rokurou let out a quiet exhale. He wanted to retort that she was asking an emotionally dead daemon about how he felt concerning his relatively emotionless family. "It's…hard to explain to someone who doesn't come from my culture. It's not so much a  _family_ , like what you know and have grown up in, as it is a  _clan_. We're not brothers and sisters or sons and daughters - we're comrades. Like soldiers in a battalion, or wolves in a pack. Blood relation doesn't necessarily mean anything."  
  
"If you're supposed to be like comrades, why are you killing each other?"  
  
"It's just part of our training. Part of being a samurai. We fight all the time. But if one of us ends up killing another while training…" He shrugged his shoulders as if they were talking about something far more trivial. "Then the one who's dead simply wasn't strong enough. That's just how it is. The strong survive and become stronger while the weak perish and die."  
  
"That's…terrible." Her voice sounded dead even though she felt horrified inside.   
  
He shrugged again. "Not terrible, just….different."  
  
"No, it's  _terrible_." Her tone was almost angry now. "Have you never known what it's like to be  _loved?_ " She looked as if she were surprised she asked the question, and quickly added, "Or what it's like for someone to even give a damn if you live or die?"  
  
He blinked a few times, taken aback by her question. "Attachment and sentiment are weaknesses that will only slow you down in battle. Mercenaries can't afford love. That's just the way it is."  
  
"Well I'm going to do what I can to change it!" She said furiously, her golden hues passionate in their fervor. "I  _care_  if you die, Rokurou! You're not just an ally to me, or a comrade, or a means to an end. And I'm certainly not tolerating you just because you're repaying your stupid  _debt!!_ " She shook her head at the ridiculousness of his promise. "I don't want you to die  _because_  you're my friend, Rokurou! And you better remember it!" She playfully, half not-so-playfully punched his shoulder to make sure her point came across to him.  
  
He threw his head back in a spirited laugh. "If you say so!" In a more serious tone, he looked down at her with a warmth in his amber hue. "Don't worry about me, Velvet. I'm sure you had a wonderful upbringing with your sister and brother full of love and selflessness, and you simply wish I could have had the same. I don't yearn for something like that because I've never known any better. All I've ever wanted was to be the best swordsman I could be. That's all that has really mattered to me. Everything else is secondary."  
  
Velvet lowered her eyes with a thoughtful hum in acknowledgement. There was still plenty about Rokurou she didn't understand and his daemonicy certainly didn't help her get any closer in most cases. Most of the time he couldn't remember his human life, and if he did, he couldn't remember any emotions tied to those memories. When she thought about it, Rokurou seemed lively and full of spirit on the surface, with his care-free attitude and bizarre enthusiasm. But when she saw him more clearly, broke past his comedic facade, Rokurou was  _empty_ … as if the curse of his daemonblight tore his very soul from his body.   
  
When she thought about it, she would always take her lack of taste and sense over his lack of  _feeling_. Because at the end of the day, Velvet hated the pain she felt…but it made her feel  _alive_. It reminded her that she was more than a monster, that she had to keep on fighting.  
  
The pain gave her a reason to  _live_.   
  
  
  
\---  
  
  
  
"Uuuhhhhgggghhhwwwwuh."  
  
"Looks like the daemon finally rose from its grave." Morgrim said dully.  
  
"There ain't no grave can hold my body down." Rokurou said groggily as he made his way to sit across from the malak at the table. "Where the hell are we, anyway?"  
  
"We're still in Mierchio-"  
  
"Obviously." The cold might not have bothered him as much anymore, but it still cut like daggers into his open wounds.  
  
Morgrim looked annoyed at his interruption. "-in an abandoned house on the edge of town. Well, by abandoned I mean of humans. Nathaniel is a malak that lives here and has so kindly allowed us to hole up here by my persuasion of sharing a special curry recipe with him."  
  
"Wouldn't happen to be a java curry recipe?" He could smell it wafting - it was the only reason he hauled himself out of bed, which he was already starting to regret. If only if one of his friends who could heal were here - Laphicet, Eizen, Eleanor, or even  _Magilou_  - he never thought he'd desperately wish the witch were by his side. This Nathaniel character knew an amateur healing art, but it wasn't anything like what he became accustomed to over the past year.  
  
"You have a good nose." Morgrim said. "I take it you can still taste your food?"  
  
Rokurou nodded. "Is that a common side effect of daemonblight?"  
  
"It would appear so."  
  
Rokurou quickly learned he couldn't use his right arm for the time being - he had to eat his curry using his left. Luckily for the swordsman, he was pretty ambidextrous, so it wasn't an issue. Realizing the extent of his injuries was troublesome, however.  
  
"How far did your markings spread before you nearly died from that code red daemon?"  
  
Morgrim stirred him from his thoughts. Rokurou was silent a moment as he looked at the black burns that marred his body, barely showing between strands of bloodied bandages. "Down to my elbow, and some ways down my shoulder blade. I can't exactly look back there all that well."  
  
"It seems your wounds have stimulated the spread of your daemonblight…as if it's trying to heal you."  
  
"I noticed that. Well, more like I  _felt_  it." It was hard to describe, but he could feel the dark markings crawling down his torso, creeping into the claw marks like a poison infecting his bloodstream. It didn't cause any pain, but he could tell it was turning him less and less human. "Judging the damage done, how long would you reckon it'll take me to heal?" He tilted his head at the cat - no, nekomata - across from him.  
  
" _I_  haven't seen anyone survive with wounds that bad." Nathaniel picked up, speaking from the kitchen. "I'd wager it'll take at least a  _while_. I'm honestly surprised you could even get out of bed after only four days."  
  
Rokurou nearly choked on his curry. " _Four days??_  Then how long have I been here?"  
  
"This would be day six since you went out into the icefield." Morgrim answered.  
  
"Damn." He couldn't remember the last time he had an injury this bad…  _well, except the day I died._  That wasn't exactly an encouraging comparison. "So safe to say at least another week or so?" His tone was utterly defeated.  
  
"I would advise longer, but knowing you, you'll probably leave before a week has passed."  
  
Rokurou growled. "Stop acting like you know me."  
  
"I knew your brother."  
  
"That doesn't mean anything."  
  
Morgrim gave a soft smirk, and it only made Rokurou more infuriated.   
  
  
  
\---  
  
  
  
"I've been wanting to thank you." Velvet said unexpectedly one night on the Van Eltia. She was perched along the railing, looking out at the ocean waves crested in moonlight, while Rokurou walked over to rest his arms against the wood and joined her in watching. He found he couldn't sleep and it seemed Velvet was the same.  
  
"For what?" He asked.  
  
"For keeping what I am a secret. You didn't have to."  
  
"What, for not telling everyone that you were actually a therion instead of just a daemon?" The rest of the crew just recently learned that Velvet was the therion for the earthpulse point at Titania, even though Rokurou knew from the beginning. "What difference would it have made?" He turned his head to look at her. "You only told everyone you were a daemon, so I figured you didn't want anyone to know the therion bit." He shrugged. "I didn't really understand what a therion was anyway."  
  
"Neither did I." She looked at him, her gaze serious yet kind. "But as we all journeyed together and learned the truth about therions and Innominat…I'm actually kind of surprised you didn't make some kind of connection and think aloud some kind of epiphany with all of this, revealing what I was."  
  
Rokurou gave her a sly grin. "You're giving me more credit than I'm worth. I'm no genius, Velvet."  
  
"You're cleverer than you think." She sighed, a sound of slight frustration. She made a half-hearted gesture with her hand. "Will you just accept my gratitude already?"  
  
He laughed. "Alright alright! You're welcome. It wasn't that big of a deal though."  
  
"It was to me." Her voice was soft, her eyes lost as she stared at her arms folded on top of her knees bent close to her chest. "You also never told anyone about what lies beneath my bandages."  
  
"Actually I told Magilou."  
  
Velvet perked up a bit, her eyes wide. "You-"  
  
" _Joking_." Rokurou gave a playful tilt of his head before letting out a snicker. "No, I never told anyone. It's your business. You've never told anyone how I got my markings, so technically we're even. I'm simply paying back the favor."  
  
"Why does everything have to come back to repaying debts with you?"  
  
"Every act of kindness in life is a favor or a debt. There's no in-between."  
  
"That's extremely black and white for someone who lives in shades of grey."  
  
Rokurou narrowed his eyes at her, although it wasn't threatening albeit more on the lines of curious. "It certainly is." Velvet could see the crimson markings on his face more easily in the darkness of night as they faintly glowed with an ominous light. His daemonic eye shone like a nocturnal predator, and she caught glimpses of its gaze as the wind shifted his bangs.  
  
Velvet frowned slightly, her brows furrowing in thought. "There's a lot we've entrusted with each other…" She mused, "And have yet to tell anyone else."  
  
Rokurou's gaze softened. He stopped leaning against the rails only to hoist himself to sit on them like a bench, facing out towards the ocean. Velvet was sitting along the rails horizontally so she faced his side. The conversation felt more personal now, as if they were both on the same level. "I vowed to aid you in your quest for revenge the day we met. It was only natural that I come to trust you in time."  
  
"But it wasn't for me." Her voice sounded surprised. "I showed you my weakness, my vulnerability…when I barely  _knew you_." She scoffed the words as if reprimanding herself, her lips set in a frustrated scowl. "You were only a means to an end. I wasn't supposed to trust  _anyone_  if I was to go through with this. I shouldn't have let you follow me to begin with. And yet -"  
  
Rokurou raised a brow at her, patiently waiting for her to wring out her frustrations.  
  
She sighed. "I always told myself that I didn't need anyone. That I could avenge Laphi all on my own. That it  _had_  to be done by myself, and myself alone. Even if I died in the process, that was fine. So long as he was avenged, and then that way no one else had to suffer. No one else would suffer because of Artorious, and no one would have to suffer because of me. That's how I wanted things to happen."  
  
"But that's not how things happened." He offered her a downturned smirk. "It's a good thing you've entrusted an emotionless daemon then - you don't have to worry about me suffering because of you." He turned his head to look out at the ocean, but Velvet kept her gaze set upon him, her words catching in her throat.  
  
"I'm sorry." Was all she managed to say.  
  
"For what?" He asked again, this time keeping his eyes on the water.  
  
"I'm sorry you can't feel." She almost sounded angry. "There are times when I  _hate_  the pain in my heart and I wish I didn't have to feel  _anything_ , and I envy you and I wish that I could be void of emotions - that everything would be so much  _easier_  - but then I remember that those feelings are what remind me that I'm  _alive_ , that I'm more than a monster, that I have a  _purpose_  and I desire to fulfil it." She bit her lower lip to steady herself and keep her voice from wavering. She could feel tears threatening to make an appearance as her heart ached for the man sitting beside her. "You don't have that."  
  
Before Velvet could notice, Rokurou's hand was placed on top of her bandaged one. He still looked out at the sea with a thousand yard stare, but the grip of his hand expressed that he was paying close attention.   
  
"We all fight different battles, Velvet." His voice sounded far off, as if it weren't Rokurou speaking anymore. He wasn't his usual sarcastic or cynical self, and his voice had a dark streak of sobriety. "There are plenty of things which I lack. But there are plenty of things I  _do_  have…and that makes all the difference. I think the reason why I… why I admire your resolve and strength and passion… is because a part of me recognizes that I was once like you." He turned to look at her now, his amber and crimson hues resolute. "You may have lost your arm, but you have the bandages to cover it up. You may have lost your brother, but you've regained your sisterly love with Laphicet. And you may feel you have lost what makes you human, Velvet… but feeling sorrow for what I am? Proves you haven't." He angled his torso to better face her, taking both of his hands to hold her bandaged hand and arm.  
  
"You do well to hide it from the rest of the world, but I know what truly lies beneath these bandages." He held her arm so delicately, as if it would crumble beneath his grasp if he weren't too careful. "You're not a monster, Velvet. You didn't succumb to malevolence. You're a victim of circumstance. You're a veteran of suffering. I brought my curse upon myself. Yours was forced upon you. There is no need to feel sorry for me."  
  
She was quiet a moment, desperately wanting to retreat into herself, but at the same time she couldn't pull her arm away from him. She looked up to match his gaze. "You say you brought your curse upon yourself, and that your own malevolence is what turned you into a daemon…but you've also told me that you died…that you…" She wasn't sure how to phrase the words on how he lost half of his head the same way she lost her left arm. "…that the malevolence brought you back. It doesn't add up, Rokurou. Dying wasn't your fault just as much as losing my arm wasn't. Unless you…" Velvet bit her lip, grateful that she stopped voicing that train of thought - that Rokurou died on purpose. He briefly mentioned suicide once so she had no idea the extent of how it affected him.  
  
"No, it doesn't really add up." He explained, his voice bordering close to something sad. He was silent, looking down at Velvet's bandages, his thumb idly gracing over the back of her hand. "I died fighting Shigure. I mean, ultimately, he wasn't the cause of my death, but he might as well have been. We were fighting at Mount Killaraus when a blow from Shigure pushed me over the edge of a cliff. If the fall didn't kill me, the fact that half my head deteriorated from lava definitely did the job."  
  
At this point Rokurou noticed that Velvet had her right hand covering her mouth, her golden eyes narrowed in a mix of disgust and horror. He gave her an apologetic look, but before he could speak Velvet's voice came through softly muffled. "I'm fine. I'm just…trying to absorb this."  
  
He offered her an encouraging smile, and moved both of his hands to hold both of hers. He looked down at their joined hands and part of him was surprised Velvet hadn't slapped him or something. "It was still my malevolence that brought me back to life." He said softly. "In the act of dying, I was filled with hatred towards my brother. That hatred and desire to kill him was so strong it brought me back from the dead." He laughed. "So to answer your question, no, dying wasn't my fault. But coming back from the dead with the sole purpose of killing my brother, definitely was."   
  
"Maybe that's why you can't remember or feel anything." Velvet said suddenly. Her hands, which were acting like dead fish until now, gripped Rokurou's as if he were her lifeline. Her eyes shone in the moonlight with the light of an epiphany. "You lost  _half your brain_. It's no wonder you can't remember anything from your human life. It's no wonder you can't feel emotion. You can't recall emotions, you can't remember what it meant to feel alive when you were human because half those memories are gone…"  
  
"Hmm…perhaps you're right. I never thought about it like that. It makes sense."  
  
"…There's probably no way to fix it either. Just like how I will never get my arm back."  
  
"Like I said, you have the bandages to cover it up." Rokurou tightened his grasp on her hands in return. "You haven't lost everything, Velvet. And I don't think any loss could ever truly extinguish your fire."  
  
Her head tilted slightly, as if she were trying to examine the samurai from a different angle. "And you may have lost your memory and your emotions…but you still haven't lost this." She released her right hand to place it over Rokurou's chest, directly where his heart lie. She could feel it beating, alive and strong. "You might not be able to feel things like shame and sympathy and nostalgia and envy and love…but you have such  _heart_  Rokurou, whether you've come to realize it or not."  
  
"…I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. That I can remember, that is." He was incredibly still, so still that Velvet thought he might be holding his breath. His eyes kept shifting ever so slightly, and it wasn't until he drew in closer that she realized where his gaze diverted in distraction.  
  
Without thinking Velvet pushed him away with the hand that was still on his chest…  
  
…and Rokurou fell overboard.  
  
"… _SHIT._ " She lunged in after him, plunging into the turbulent ocean waves. She couldn't feel the temperature of the sea, but she could only imagine it must have been freezing.  
  
"WHY THE HELL DID YOU JUMP IN AFTER ME??" Rokurou yelled as he swam against the current towards the Van Eltia. Velvet realized he was mad at her for jumping in after him, not for shoving him off in the first place, and then understood how little she thought this through.  
  
"I - I DON'T KNOW, YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY SWIM AGAINST THESE WAVES!" She yelled back, now swimming alongside him towards the ship.  
  
"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST THROW A ROPE TOWARDS ME OR SOMETHING?"  
  
"I DON'T KNOW I WASN'T THINKING!!" How could she be so rash? Why didn't she think to grab a lifeline instead of just jumping overboard? The samurai leaning in to kiss her really knocked her off her boat…literally. "WELL IT'D BE EASIER FOR YOU TO SWIM IF YOU DITCHED THE SWORD!"  
  
" _I AM NEVER ABANDONING MY SWORD!!!!_ "  
  
Velvet growled in frustration. Why was he wearing it in the middle of the night anyway? Did he sleep with the damn thing? "I HAVE AN IDEA."   
  
"ENTERTAIN ME."  
  
Although she had never swam with her therion arm activated, Velvet figured she could fight against the rolling waves more effectively. The massive crimson claw engulfed her arm, and she said sternly, "GRAB ME."  
  
Rokurou raised a brow. " _THAT'S_  ENTERTAINING."  
  
" _SHUT UP_." Even though Velvet should have been mad at him, the anger in her voice was only halfhearted and she was too preoccupied with fighting the ocean to properly snap at him. If the circumstances were different she would have probably struggled with hiding a snicker because, despite their situation, she found his response incredibly inappropriate and simultaneously hilarious. Contrary to his words, Rokurou wrapped his arms around her waist in an innocent manner, and Velvet clutched his torso with her right as her therion arm dug into the water, drawing them closer to the Van Eltia.  
  
When they made good distance, nearly reaching the back of the ship, Benwick appeared at the stern and had a line tossed to them. A few crew members, including Eizen, were gathered ready to pull Velvet and Rokurou up to safety. She insisted that he go up first since she could keep up with the strengthening tide, and once Rokurou was pulled up she grabbed the rope and ascended out of the water. Her left arm vaporized in black and crimson smoke to reveal her almost-human arm, and with a gasp Velvet saw her bandages were all but gone, revealing the rawness that she kept hidden from everyone. In a panic, she quickly wrapped the edge of her cape around her arm before she reached the top, and withdrew from the help the pirates offered as she stumbled off to the side, careful to keep her arm facing away from everyone.  
  
"What the hell happened, exactly." Eizen did not sound amused, his piercing stare appearing more ominous than usual. Velvet's lips parted to say something, she wasn't sure what, but Rokurou beat her to it.  
  
"Sorry, I was- well,  _am_  - increeeeedibly wasted, and somehow I tripped or somethin and…" He made a gesture with his hand, complete with a plummeting sound. "I guess I pulled Velvet in with me."  
Her brows were furrowed incredulously as he explained. With his hair wet and slicked back, and the strange explanation he gave, almost made him appear like a completely different person. The swordsman wasn't a scant drunk. She knew him well enough to tell, and she would have been able to smell the sake when his lips were dangerously close to hers…  
  
She shook her head, regaining her serious composure. "It was a blur." She said with a dismissive gesture of her hand. "Sorry to bother everyone." Not only did Rokurou's lie cover up the fact that it was Velvet's fault for pushing him in, but also hid her blunder of jumping in after him with no means of saving him.  
  
"Either way, you two need to get thawed." Eizen said.   
  
"I'll go get you two dry clothes." Benwick cut in and dashed off.  
  
"Even if you can't feel it Velvet," The malak continued, "I can tell you're hitting the first stages of hypothermia."  
  
Suddenly Rokurou was flanked along Velvet's right side, grabbing her bicep still hidden beneath her cloak. "Don't worry, we'll go into the kitchen and get a fire going."  
  
"You're wasted, Rokurou. I don't think you should be lighting fires."  
  
"Aeh, the salt water sobered me up. We'll be fine." He turned to give Eizen a reassuring look. "It's my fault we got in this mess, so it's only proper I make the amends."  
  
The malak sighed. "At least let me start the fire. I don't want you accidentally setting the ship ablaze."  
  
  
\---  
  
  
][ music --- [www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KNuo7…](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KNuo72QuYk&feature=youtu.be&t=3m16s) ][  
  
  
When they reached the kitchen, Eizen got working on setting logs into the hearth and starting the arte. Rokurou stated, a little too loudly, "Velvet, can you hold my sword for a sec?"  
  
"Whhhat?" Her eyes were wide. She was wondering if he slept with the damn sword only moments ago, and now he was wanting her to hold it?? She clumsily grasped the massive sword with her right hand, and he was making a weird face at her, his eyes doing a strange twitching - then she realized he was trying to  _wink_  at her. Clearly Rokurou lacked in the winking skill. Having half his face daemonized only made his attempt look even weirder. "OH." Was all she could say. With her cape still wrapped around her arm, she held the sword horizontally with both arms in a way so that it effectively covered her left arm without it being too suspicious.  
  
Rokurou unsuspectingly started to peel off his upper layers, which would have been impossible without taking off the sword first anyway. He was covering for her in more ways than she could possibly repay him.   
  
Benwick came in with a dry change of clothes for the both of them, and insisted he worked on making a hot soup to help warm them up. Neither of them could object since they reached the stage where they stopped shivering.  
  
"Be glad you can't feel it." Rokurou sighed.  
  
"I guess in this instance it's a blessing." Velvet mused. There was a silent agreement between the four of them when Rokurou and Velvet took the dry clothes and went off into separate corners to change, that Benwick and Eizen turned their backs while making the soup. While Velvet was clumsily pulling off her pants and leggings, she heard a soft whistle from Rokurou and a moment later a roll of medical bandages landed near her feet. She quickly snatched the roll as if it were gold, and hastily started wrapping up the abomination that was her left arm. She kept it wrapped to hide it from the world, but in truth it was mostly because she couldn't stand to look at it.  
  
Once her arm was properly covered, she made a grunt of annoyance. She spoke just loud enough for him to hear. "I hope you weren't  _looking_  to throw that." Granted, her hair was long enough that he wouldn't have even seen her exposed rear, but the thought of him looking at her nude made her flustered.  
  
"I'm a  _swordsman_ , Vel." He said in an equally quiet tone. "Even when I'm drunk I can hit targets without looking. Usually."  
  
She was slightly surprised that she was smiling. She mused on the fact that he just called her 'Vel' - she wasn't sure how she felt about the nickname and what it was supposed to mean.  
  
Once they were both clothed, they sat as close to the fire as they possibly could, and to each other. Velvet thought it was strange to see Rokurou wearing normal clothes, but he probably thought the same of her. They sat with their backs facing the fire, both wrapped up in thick blankets, and with the yaksha on her left side, she could only see the blackened side of his face. It was strange to think she came to know him so well that she could now read the emotion in his scarlet eye.  
  
"I've never been this cold before." His words were slurred and slower than usual.  
  
"If we wanted to warm up faster," Her words came out slowly as well, as if she were in a daze. "It would be better for us to get naked and heat up each other."  
  
Rokurou turned his head to fully look at her, his face scrunched up as if he were thinking too hard.  
  
" _Joking_." Velvet jabbed, although the word came out dully.  
  
"That only works if one of you  _doesn't_  have hypothermia." Eizen broke in. "I'm certainly not going to volunteer."  
  
"I was joking, Eizen." She waved her hand at him drunkenly. "I don't think we have it that bad."  
  
He let out an amused laugh. "If you say so. The soup is almost ready."  
  
  
\---  
  
  
After they ate a serving of soup (several for Rokurou) and their hair was mostly dry, the two of them were left in the kitchen as Benwick and Eizen returned to bed. Velvet was leaning into Rokurou's chest, his arm wrapped around her, and somehow her right hand found way to join with his left. Normally Velvet would have started reprimanding herself for getting into this kind of position with a man, but she tried to justify it with the hypothermia. It was just the hypothermia speaking, the instinct for want of warmth.   
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?" Her voice was tired, and sounded more like a statement than a question.  
  
"For trying to kiss you."   
  
A silence stretched thickly between them. The attempt to kiss her nearly evaded her mind - she was too preoccupied with surviving. With a sudden stab in her heart, Velvet wondered how long her life was preoccupied with merely  _surviving_  and fulfilling her brother's vengeance. When did Rokurou first fall in love with her? How long had she been oblivious? She knew he wouldn't have pulled a stunt like tonight on a whim. She said so herself, Rokurou had heart. He wouldn't have tried to kiss her unless it had  _meaning_.  
  
When she saw Stormhowl glinting in the corner from reflected firelight, her eyes watered.  
  
_Never leave your lifeline in the hands of another._  
  
Although Rokurou technically still had his daggers on his person, he treated that sword as if it held his very soul in its sheath. He gave it up to Velvet in order to help her hide the aberrations of her arm. She didn't realize how out of character that was for him until the hypothermia had faded.   
  
"Thank you." She said softly, her voice wavering.  
  
"For trying to kiss you?"   
  
Velvet elbowed his ribs. "No. For…for covering me."  _In more ways than one._  
  
"It's nothing." He said simply.  
  
"It's not nothing, it's-"  
  
"No, it's  _nothing_." Rokurou said decisively. "Supporting you is no burden to me. In fact, I wish there was more I could do. I don't think I'll ever be able to repay that debt I owe you."  
  
"It all comes down to that debt, it would seem."  
  
"It's become more than just a debt, Vel."  
  
There was that nickname again. She angled her head to look up at him, her heart skipping a beat when she looked into his crimson and amber eyes. When did it become more than just a debt? When exactly did Rokurou change from an indebted samurai to someone who desired to always serve and remain at her side? When was he no longer a mere companion but instead became an invaluable partner? She couldn't imagine facing Artorious without him. She couldn't even think about what she would do with her life after the fact, and imagining it without Rokurou somehow felt…meaningless.  
  
She drew up the courage as she straightened her back to properly look at him as she asked, " _When_ …when did it become more than just a debt?"  
  
"…When you said you'd care if I die." Rokurou claimed he couldn't feel emotion like he used to, but Velvet could have sworn his eyes were  _filled_  with it.  While showing him her bandages when they were still strangers was a vulnerability to her, this was Rokurou's. She had never seen him so vulnerable before - didn't even know he could be.   
  
"My whole life I was a number. The sixth son. A hired mercenary. Simply the next swordsman who had survived. I've never had anyone care if I died. Hell…not even  _I_  cared if I died." His right arm which was wrapped around her moved to entwine with her left arm, until he laced his fingers with her bandages. "I don't know how you did it Velvet, and I commend you for achieving the impossible…" He exhaled slowly, his lips turning into a sad smile.  
  
"…You gave someone who wanted to _die_ a reason to  _live_."  
  
Velvet's gaze softened, her lips parting ever so slightly. She saw the pain in his eyes and heard the suffering in his voice, and couldn't help but feel that she was seeing him in a completely different light. She pulled herself close, watching the firelight dance dangerously in his eyes, and hesitating for only the briefest of moments, moved to press her lips against his. She felt the conviction of his reason, and Velvet was moved by the amount of meaning in his kiss.  
  
After so many years of darkness, neither of them had ever felt so  _alive_.


	5. Double Haze

 

 

There was a knock at the door.  
  
"Velvet, are you in there?"  
  
Velvet jolted awake at Laphicet's voice, and realized in a panic the situation she was in. She went to bed with Rokurou, and apparently both of them slept in. They innocently slept next to each other in the same bed, back to back, in order to keep their bodies warm and the hypothermia at bay. Apparently in the middle of the night they both turned over and Velvet had pressed right up against his chest and his arms found themselves wrapped around her. She was stuck in this position with Laphicet at the door, and the samurai slept like a rock. " _ROKUROU._ " She whispered loudly, giving his chest a shove.  
  
Laphicet's voice came faintly from the hallway. "I don't know if she's in there. Or Rokurou."  
  
"Wait, are you saying that they're _both_ in there??" Eleanor's voice was reaching that tone that made Velvet want to smack her. She shoved Rokurou even harder.  
  
" _WAKE. UP._ " Desperate times called for desperate measures. Velvet wiggled her arm and slammed her hand into Rokurou's face, which elicited a weird snarl from the man as he instinctively smacked her hard, causing Velvet to let out a startled groan of pain. She retaliated and fully kicked him since she was no longer bound prisoner by his arms, and sent the samurai flying completely out of the bed. Unfortunately for Velvet, her hair was tangled up around Rokurou and it yanked her down onto the ground as well, eliciting a yelp. Stormhowl, which was propped up against the wall right next to the corner of the bed, slid and clattered loudly against the floor. _I guess he doesn't sleep with it._ Velvet thought, _But…close enough._  
  
"Are you guys okay??" Eleanor knocked urgently. "What is going on in there?!"  
  
Rokurou was finally coming to as he remained sitting on the floor, and glared at the door. "Go away Eleanor."  
  
Velvet whipped her head up from her crumpled position to let out a frustrated sigh, and whispered angrily, "Is that really the best reply you can come up with??" She could only imagine what the redhead must be thinking at this point.  
  
"We'll be right out." He added, turned to briefly look at Velvet, then gently worked on detangling her strands of hair that wrapped around various parts of his body. He then spoke in a lower voice, "What just happened, exactly?"  
  
She scowled. "Apparently you have a hard time waking up. And crazy counterattack reflexes." She started gathering her hair as well, embarrassed that it had gotten so tangled. She never slept with someone else in the same bed so…she never encountered this kind of problem.  
  
"Samurai." He reminded her, and stifled a yawn. "Sorry 'bout the counterattack." His hair was down and somehow even more wild than usual, his shirt loosely hanging off his right shoulder, and a red hand mark was already starting to appear on the parts of his face that weren't obsidian. Velvet wasn't sure if his appearance was ridiculous or adorable, and thinking of the latter only made her more confused. His voice broke her from her thoughts. "Geez, is your hair six feet long??"  
  
"Five and a half." Velvet interjected.  
  
"Woah. That's almost as long as Stormhowl."  
  
"Does everything come back to that sword of yours?"  
  
Rokurou simply gave her a shrug and smiled. He was somewhat surprised she wasn't hitting him for touching her hair or something, but considering the situation she probably welcomed the help. He only just noticed how incredibly soft her hair was, attributing well to her name. He idly mused on what kind of insane or unconventional shampooing methods she must utilize to keep it so nice.  
  
"Considering how hard it was to wake you up, I take it you slept well?" She wondered if he even remembered wrapping his arms around her, and whether or not it was subconsciously done.  
  
"Slept great." He said, then raised a brow. "Why'd you have to hit me in the face though?"  
  
Apparently he didn't remember. "I was kind of…uhh…stuck."  
  
His eyes widened. "Oh no did I roll over on top of you??"  
  
"No no! Nothing like that, umm…" Velvet's face was slowly reddening, and Rokurou couldn't ever recall her looking so embarrassed. She was avoiding eye contact as she gathered up the rest of her hair and started running her fingers through it as she sat on the edge of the bed. "You kind of had your arms wrapped around me."  
  
"I did? …Sorry about that."  
  
"Don't…don't worry about it. We were both recovering from the hypothermia." She blinked rapidly after making the mistake of meeting his gaze. "It's my fault for kissing you last night. I…I shouldn't have let my emotions get the better of me like that. But at least you can't feel those kinds of emotions, so…" She hesitated, folding her arms as if she were cold. _He_ initially tried to kiss _her_ first - that's what got them into this whole mess to begin with. That meant he _had_ to have felt something, right? She shook her head. Trying to understand how Rokurou _felt_ about things made her incredibly confused. She couldn't afford to be confused. She couldn't afford to feel any such compromising emotions towards him. He said so himself: _"Attachment and sentiment are weaknesses that will only slow you down in battle. Mercenaries can't afford love. That's just the way it is."_  
  
And that's just the way it was going to be. Velvet couldn't afford to be attached to him, to hold any kind of sentiment. _I can't afford to love Rokurou._ While it ultimately felt like the most reasonable decision, Velvet couldn't help but feel a sense of emptiness. She inhaled deeply. "Neither of us can afford complications. We can just move past this like it never happened."  
  
"Yeah." Even though Rokurou was quick to agree, his voice was drawn out slowly as if he had to force himself to say it. "No harm, no foul."  
  
Although she expected such a response from the yaksha, Velvet could have sworn there was disappointment in his amber and crimson eyes.  
  
  
  
\---  
  
  
  
"Where the hell am I going to find another yukata?" Rokurou asked to no one in particular. Most of his clothing was rent apart by the code red daemon, and there wasn't much remaining of his yukata. He muttered "I guess it was time to get a new one anyway." It had plenty of mending from all his battles over the past year, so he couldn't complain too much.  
  
He sighed, his chest still hurting from the deep wounds. A week had passed and he was able to move around more easily, but he wasn't too keen on the idea of fighting quite yet. Everything felt raw and sore, but he was tired of staying in the company of an indifferent malak and the malak who used to be tethered to his brother. He decided he would leave the small town, retrieve Stormhowl, and then from there he wasn't sure what his plan was. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with his life after he killed Shigure, much less what he would do once he helped Velvet defeat Artorious. He was thinking he would always be by her side, and now that she was no longer here…everything seemed meaningless now.  
  
He couldn't exactly go back to being a mercenary…he wasn't even sure if anyone would want to hire a deamon. Perhaps his surname would outweigh that fact, if anyone caught on to the fact he was a deamon to begin with. So long as his bangs covered the red parts of his face the black markings could be mistaken as tattoos - he looked human enough. Some people however, could notice malevolence the same way some people had resonance with Innominat. There wasn't anything he could do about that.  
  
The Bloodwings didn't seem to mind who they worked with, so long as they were true to their word and got the job done. Rokurou could always take on code red deamons till he figured out what he was going to do with his life.  
  
Everything felt wrong. Continuing life after Velvet sealed away Innominat as if that was the only option. Rokurou felt there had to be _some other solution_. There was more to be understood, more to be done.  
  
Velvet deserved so much more than the cruel hand fate had dealt her.  
  



	6. Zero Impact

 

 

A year passed.  
  
Rokurou's daemonblight worsened and he kept fighting daemons for the Bloodwings as a poor distraction. It allowed him to travel and gain more information about Innominat and armatization and earth pulse points, but he wasn't quite sure what it was he was looking for, exactly. He knew deep down that somehow everything connected in a way that could save Velvet.  
  
"Rokurou?"  
  
He had just left the Bloodwing's Tavern and was headed out of the city, but the familiar voice caused him to turn. It was Eleanor, dressed in similar clothing from their travels together, but closer to the standard exorcist uniform. Her red hair was a few inches longer, tied back into a single ponytail.  
  
"Eleanor." His voice was genuinely surprised. "It's been awhile. I still owe you that date."  
  
She laughed. "I suppose you do." She smiled at him, her hands clasped behind her back as she looked him up and down. "You've changed." Most noticeably Rokurou wore much darker colors, his yukata a deep midnight blue with gold accents, his clothing having a tighter fit, and both Stormhowl and Stormquell were slung across his back. His hair remained the same, with half his face obscured by his dark messy bangs.  
  
"You haven't. Much." He jabbed back. He offered her a smirk. "You hungry? There's actually a place here in Loegres that serves yozakura anmitsu, so I can pay that date I owe you."  
  
"Oh ri-right now?" Eleanor whipped her head around a bit as if she were going to find someone yelling for her attention or some disaster she would have to attend to in that moment. "Sure! It's lunch time, so we might as well!"  
  
"Great! Follow me."  
  
The samurai started to leave without waiting for Eleanor, and the redhead found herself blushing. Seeing him so suddenly was a bit of a shock, and now he was carting her off to take her on a date for lunch. She was grossly unprepared for all of this. _Is Rokurou somehow more muscular than before?_ She looked at the dual great swords strapped to his back and reckoned that had to be the reason. _Twice the weight. Logical._ She ran to catch up with him and they both entered the quaint restaurant.  
  
They ordered their food and sat at a two-person table near a window looking out at the busy street. Rokurou wolfed down his serving of yozakura anmitsu, deciding to eat dessert before his lunch. Eleanor just finished her ramen and was now delving into the dish.  
  
"This has a rather distinct flavor. It's quite delectable!" She exclaimed after she took a few bites of her yozakura anmitsu. She hummed in pleasure as she took another bite, then turned to look at Rokurou. "What have you been up to this past year? I see you're officially a member of the Bloodwings." Her green eyes darted to the red sash tied around Rokurou's left bicep.  
  
"Yeah…I didn't particularly want to _join_ them or wear their insignia, but Tabitha insisted that someone might accidentally try to come after me since, ya know, I'm technically a daemon." He laughed. "But I just told her not to worry and that anyone who tried to kill me would end up regretting it. That only made her want me to wear this even more." He inhaled a bunch of noodles before continuing. "It's kinda ironic, actually. A daemon who kills daemons."  
  
Eleanor hummed. "Not unlike Velvet." A sadness crossed her features as she remembered her, and once she saw the pain in Rokurou's eye as he stared at his ramen, Eleanor pulled her shoulders back and switched gears. "Have you seen anyone else since…? Eizen, Magilou, Lap- Maotelus?"  
  
"Hmm? Oh, nah." Rokurou's jaw set as he tried to shove away the thoughts that kept invading his mind. "After Magilou and Grimoirh were dropped off, I left the Van Elita shortly afterwards at Hellawes. I've been meaning to have a chat with Eizen, but I'm not sure how to find the Van Elita aside from getting lucky and finding them docked at a port." He shrugged. "I actually visit Loegres quite frequently, so I'm surprised we haven't run into each other until now."  
  
"Oh, well, you _are_ quite different looking…I suppose I may have never noticed."  
  
Rokurou deadpanned. "How many samurais do you see wandering around with two giant swords?"  
  
"N-not - that's not what I was getting at!" Eleanor closed her eyes and sighed in frustration. "I've just been so busy."  
  
He let out a quick snicker at her flustered state. "I'm just pulling your leg. What is it you've been busy doing, exactly? I can't imagine you're out there slaughtering daemons."  
  
"Aah it's been forever since I've properly picked up my spear." She reminisced with a wistful sigh. "I've been helping Prince Percival to reform the exorcists. We don't have ranks anymore, but I'm kind of like an officer of sorts. I'm in charge of assigning and sending teams to various areas of trouble, and occasionally I tag along with a team. But usually I'm just here in Loegres, making sure everything is in order."  
  
"Sounds like a job suited for you." He said with a grin.  
  
"As is your job. I thought you might head back to your clan after everything…"  
  
"Back to Japon? Nah." _Everyone in my immediate family is dead, so there's not really anyone to go back to…_ He shook his head, finishing the remainder of his noodles before continuing. "Any other Rangetsus I run into would kill me on the spot. Apparently we're not supposed to become daemons."  
  
Eleanor's bright green eyes widened. "Kill you? If you were a raving lunatic out to kill everyone - like most daemons are - then I could understand that but you have your sense of reason! Isn't that a bit extreme?"  
  
Rokurou frowned as he thought about how to word his answer. "It's…a bit more complicated than that. Let's just say it's a samurai thing."  
  
"Oh I have time to listen." She took the last bite of her dessert and set down her fork defiantly. Rokurou was waiting for her to say something more but she just stared him down. He let out a sigh. If he were Eizen he could have just said 'it's none of your business' and they'd leave it at that. And there was something about the way the exorcist stared at him that made him feel obligated to explain.  
  
"It's harder for daemonblight to affect a Rangetsu samurai. We're trained to purge our emotions, to never let them control our reason. If one of us does succumb to daemonblight, it's more deeply rooted than most daemons, and apparently it can turn us into something…even worse. That's all I got out of Morgrim."  
  
"Something…even _worse_? Like a…dragon or something? And you spoke to Morgrim??"  
  
"Yeah. She…helped me out when I got injured. It was kind of a weird run-in. I don't think she was hinting at dragons…I think that's a curse that only malakhim bear." Rokurou had a hunch what the worse-than-a-daemon implication could mean, but he didn't want to spew out his theories in front of Eleanor when she was probably already too worried about his wellbeing. "Speaking of dragons, have you seen Maotelus lately?"  
  
Her eyebrows rose. "Maotelus? No, no I haven't. I…actually don't know if I could even see him anymore…"  
  
"Oh right. I keep forgetting about that. That's weird how you can't see malakhim but you can see me plain as day."  
  
"Well…actually…" Eleanor stood up slightly from her chair so she could lean forward, her hand reaching out to Rokurou's face. She brushed back his bangs and let out a soft gasp of surprise, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "That is _so_ weird."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I don't see your daemon markings. But… I'm guessing they're still there??"  
  
"Huh. Weird. And yeah, they're still there." _They've spread, actually._ "I suppose I don't need to worry about hiding them if no one can see em."  
  
Eleanor stood there staring at him for longer than she probably should have, her face scrunched up in confused wonderment. "It's so strange to see you with both your eyes amber…you really do look a lot like Shigure." Rokurou narrowed his eyes at her in a deadpan. It was enough to cause the redhead to retreat and sit down. "Sorry, it's a compliment really. Female exorcists were constantly swooning over him when he was a legate."  
  
"Don't worry about it. I mean…we _did_ look similar." He shrugged, letting out a soft exhale. "I guess I'm just stubborn about being compared to him is all." It was annoying enough having Morgrim thinking they were alike.  
  
"I've always wondered what it's like to have siblings." Eleanor mused. "I've seen siblings who love each other unconditionally, ones who are indifferent to each other, ones who constantly bicker-"  
  
"Ones who want to kill each other…" Rokurou said with a playful grin.  
  
"Well…yes. There's also that." Not long ago, Eleanor would have protested and rebuked that what the samurai said was terrible, but she learned to simply smile along with his dark humor and enjoy it. There were a lot of things she could never hope to fully understand and that was perfectly fine. She came to accept that. "It's interesting how differentiating family dynamics can be. At first I had such a hard time accepting that Velvet wanted to kill her brother-in-law and you wanted to kill your older brother…but I understand now that people can be cruel to the ones they love…that blood relation doesn't guarantee any kindness…and even with Magilou, it proves that adopted family can be just as cruel…"  
  
Rokurou felt a tightness in his chest as he thought about Velvet…she got her revenge on Artorious as she wanted, but in the end Innominat was still alive albeit asleep. Velvet had told Rokurou she wanted Innominat dead, that no one should be able to live in her dead brother's body and keep his memories. Yet in the end, she seemed _happy_ when she embraced him with her therion claw. Rokurou couldn't understand the peace she had when she accepted her terrible sentence.  
  
"It kinda makes the whole malevolence taboo all the more believable." He remembered when Eizen revealed the truth to them all, and how Eleanor had the hardest time accepting it. She had changed a lot since then, and it made him wonder if he had changed at all. Even after Maotelus's cleansing, Rorkurou remained a daemon and was arguably even _more_ of a daemon now…  
  
"It certainly does." She agreed. "That cruelty simply fuels the malevolence that turns people into daemons…" She tilted her head slightly, her eyes narrowing into curious daggers. "How could someone like you, Rokurou… you may be harsh and pragmatic but I would never describe you as _cruel_ … how did you even become a daemon?" He wanted to kill his brother but that didn't seem grounds enough to succumb to malevolence. Eizen wanted to kill Melchior for what he did to Aifread and he never became a dragon. Eleanor herself was filled with malevolence when she fought against the daemon that killed her mother, but she held her ground. Rokurou seemed like anything but weak, so how had the malevolence taken over?  
  
He was still as death, his penetrating gaze feral like a wolf stalking out its prey, and yet he was calm. His lips parted to speak, inhaling softly, but his mouth clamped shut as he sat there a moment longer in silence. Apparently Eleanor was no longer someone to apologize for asking and leave it alone. They knew each other too well for awkward formalities. Finally he made a disgruntled noise at the back of his throat and spoke.  
  
"I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything." His stare had a cold calculation, his voice authoritative in its conviction. "But first you must do something for me."  
  



	7. Impulse Desire

 

][ [music](https://youtu.be/1oTbyENpX58) ][

 

It was all so stupid.

But the idea wouldn't leave her mind.

Only a few days after the hypothermia incident, Velvet nearly consumed Eleanor as she was aroused from a nightmare and her claw fully activated. It was just as Rokurou worded it: Velvet was a victim of circumstance. And those circumstances traumatized her beyond repair. She practically attacked Laphicet back at that time at the inn, and now Eleanor was victim to her crazy half-asleep nightmare induced rages.

How much longer could she go on like this before someone got seriously hurt?

Logic kept pointing her to him. It was _reasonable_ , almost _necessary_.

"Rokurou." She said his name softly after she knocked on the door to his room. He answered quickly - a little too quickly, because she stood there staring at him with the door ajar as he looked at her expectantly and nothing came out of her mouth. She wasn't quite sure how to word this.

"Yeah?"

"I need to sleep with you."

"….what."

"I…" _Oh great_. Somehow she not only worded it the worst way possible, but now she was blushing like mad. She made a frustrated growling sound and shoved him into the room as she pushed her way in and closed the door before anyone could see or overhear anything.

"What's…going on?" Rokurou had no idea what to say in this situation either, although he seemed as calm as ever, as if this were a completely normal thing. She realized now he was only wearing his yukata and somehow she felt overdressed in her oversized nightshirt.

Velvet let out a long sigh as she leaned up against the wall near the door, her arms crossed. "I can't accidentally eat Phi, or expose Eleanor to too much. I would ask Eizen but he's a malak. The malevolence thing applies to him too. Magilou wouldn't even be able to hold her own against me, so you're my only option."

Rokurou's eyes were wide and his eyebrows high. "What……….. _are_ you talking about?"

She stared at him as if it were obvious. "My nightmares. I wake from them and I…I've nearly hurt Phi and now Eleanor…"

"OOOOHHHHHH okay I got it now." He crossed his arms thoughtfully. "And since I'm a daemon the malevolence thing isn't an issue."

"And I know you could handle me if I start going berserk."

"Makes sense." He looked at her as if he were trying to assess her. This shouldn't have been that big of a deal, especially to him, but for some reason his chest was taut, as if his ribs were tightening in upon the cavity of his chest. "I'll go get some extra blankets from the storeroom." He started for the door, but Velvet placed a hand on his shoulder before he could reach the doorknob.

"What for?"

"I don't exactly fancy sleeping on hard wood floors."

"That's sensible taste. You're not sleeping on the floor." Her voice was authoritative as if she were a commander and the samurai her indebted soldier. "Besides…the less people who know about this…'arrangement'…the better." She didn't want anyone getting any weird ideas. She couldn't handle Eleanor's lectures or Magilou's teasing.

Rokurou's expression was unreadable, and for a moment Velvet was envious. She had no idea what was going through his mind, although from the look in his eyes she could tell that his mind was conflicted with several thoughts. For a wild moment Velvet wondered if Rokurou's curse of having no emotions also went as far as no outward expression - and that every smile and frown and raised eyebrow and narrowed eyes were forced for the sake of appearance.

"You'll have to tie your hair back differently." He said finally. "I can't promise I won't move in my sleep and I don't want to accidentally yank out half of your hair like I almost did last time."

What a sensible answer. She was glad he was taking this so… pragmatically. She nodded and released her hand upon his shoulder, then went and sat upon the foot of the bed, crisscrossing her legs and pulling her hair in front of her. "I'm sorry this is so sudden, it just…seemed like the only option." She pulled the bandages that held her braid loose, and began working on weaving the dark silky strands into a much tighter braid.

"Do you want help?" He sat down on the bed next to her, making sure to keep a polite distance between them.

"No." She responded too sharply, so she softened her tone. "No, it's uhm…it's kind of… therapeutic for me." A part of Velvet reasoned that hair this long was irrational and a vulnerability in battle, that she should chop it short so it would never become a liability. Yet she kept her luscious locks of raven hair because it kept her grounded. It helped her believe in the ridiculous notion that perhaps a part of the old Velvet remained…that she didn't completely die that night she lost her brother and her arm. It reminded her of Celica. It helped her remember where she came from, where this all began. If Velvet became cold-hearted, cruel, pessimistic, unforgiving, barely even human…at least she still had her hair. She had something that kept her closer to what she used to be…

Before she knew it Rokurou's hands were gently holding hers. Her hands were shaking. When did that happen? Her vision began to blur and she held her eyes closed for a moment to will the tears away. She was slightly surprised the samurai hadn't said anything, but a part of her was glad. She couldn't find the voice to speak anyway. His fingers curled a little tighter, helping the tremble lessen ever so slightly. After a moment of silence passed between them, Velvet finally broke her hands away from him and continued braiding, but it was Rokurou who spoke.

"If it would help…you could talk about your nightmares to me." His voice was soft and solemn, practically reverent as he treaded into a realm of thin ice. "I won't be much help since…I don't exactly have nightmares anymore, but I know just telling someone about them can help."

She paused mid weave, tilting her head up to look at him properly. She whispered, "You don't have nightmares? Ever?"

"Not since becoming a daemon. I'm sure I had them when I was human but…I don't remember. I don't dream either. Just… darkness."

Velvet's golden hues hardened as she looked back down at her hair. She hated her nightmares - who wouldn't? - but she couldn't imagine a life without ever _dreaming_ … on the rare occasion she had wonderful dreams, and sometimes those were the only thing that kept her climbing out of the hellish hole she fell into. A long moment of silence stretched between them, but it didn't feel tense or awkward. It was almost peaceful.

"I don't want to talk about my nightmares." She said so softly she was afraid Rokurou wouldn't hear. But then she remembered he probably could, with the enhanced senses. Even if talking about her problems would help her feel better, she reckoned it would only lead to a panic attack or a crying fest. Eleanor was someone who would feel better by talking it out. Velvet did better by having a _distraction_.

"Why are you a daemon, Rokurou?"

"I told you, my vengeance against Shigure got me killed, but the malevolence brought me back."

"I know _how_ you became a daemon. I'm asking _why_."

He was unresponsive for so long that Velvet looked up at him, her gaze serious. His amber and crimson hues were pensive, his arms folded as he stared at the bed. She wasn't sure if he was trying to figure out how to word it, or if he was deciding whether or not to tell her. She returned her attention to braiding her hair but listened all the same.

"'Shigure' is actually a title, not a name." He said at last.

 _Where is this going?_ "A title?"

"As a name it means rainfall between autumn and winter - it's a symbolic transition. Shigure is the title given to the Lord of the Rangetsu clan, because the title and position are transitional. In order to receive the title, you must kill the current holder of it."

Velvet paused, her brows lowered. "Your older brother killed the Lord of you clan."

"Which was our mother."

She heard him say it before. But instead of a jolt of surprise, Velvet merely looked up at Rokurou with a sympathetic horror in her eyes. She wasn't sure what to say. Despite what he said, there was no emotion in his eyes. He wasn't telling her his deepest wounds, he was just recounting facts. That's all everything was to him anymore.

"My mother and I had a… a complicated relationship. Well," He laughed. The sound was almost an abomination given the context of their discussion, but that's just how Rokurou was. "I suppose everyone in my clan had anything but a normal and healthy relationship. Shortly before Ichirou killed Shigure, the brother closest in age to me died in a mission. We were actually on good terms… we were practically twins… he was only ten months older than me. I thought I could handle it, I thought I was strong enough. But then mother died… Ichirou became Shigure and he left. I think that's what broke me. Shigure just… _left_. As if killing her was nothing more than something to do. He didn't care to be the Lord. He just ran off to cozy up to Artorius so he could one day kill him, too. Shigure never puts meaning into anything. He simply does things because he _can_. I was ordered to execute him for insurrection but when we fought… I was not in the right mindset. My emotions held me back. I was completely unhinged."

He paused a moment, his eyes narrowing into fierce daggers. "When I fought Shigure on Mount Killarous, the plan was to kill him… and then myself. I found no meaning in my life outside of taking down my brother for what he did. My mother once said that out of all her sons… she knew that her youngest had the potential to one day strike her down. I always wanted to be the Lord, to one day be strong enough to lead the Rangetsu clan, to live up to her expectation. Only two other brothers of mine cared for such an achievement…one of them being Ichirou. But when Ichirou killed Shigure… not only did he take what I always wanted and then abandoned it, but he destroyed the one kindness my mother ever said to me." He sighed, but it didn't sound sad or nostalgic. Just a respite of breath. "So to answer your question, it wasn't necessarily my drive to kill Shigure that turned me into a daemon, but rather my own self-hatred."

Velvet was quiet, unsure of what to say or to say anything at all. She reached the end of her braid and had no more distraction for her fingers. She wrapped the bandage around her hair and tied it secure, then raised her gaze to the samurai across from her. Her eyes were neither sad nor empathetic, but borderline murderous. Those golden hazel hues were alight with a fire of burning anger. She wasn't good at empathy. But she was good at malice.

"Now I want to kill your brother too."

Rokurou certainly didn't want any pity or compassion from the therion across from him, but oddly enough her words were _exactly_ what he needed to hear. Velvet kept helping him in ways he didn't know were possible, and a part of him wondered if she even realized such.

"Then I guess we're even." He offered her half a smirk. "Because after I found out what Artorious did to you? I want to kill him too. If you could drink I'd offer a toast to killing brothers."

"To killing brothers." Velvet did an air toast with her hand, a genuine smile finding place upon her lips. It was a rare sight, and Rokurou drank it in as he smiled in kind. It was short lived, however, as Velvet melted into a more somber expression. "Thank you."

Rokurou looked surprised. "Hmm? For what?"

Velvet sighed, shook her head slightly and then started laughing. "As weird as this sounds, thank you for keeping your debt."

"Why is that weird?"

"Because your debt is _stupid_. I told you where your sword was and somehow you feel like you owe me everything."

"I do. Like I said back then, my sword is my life. And I need to pay what is owed, even if it costs me my life. My debt to you is pretty straightforward."

Velvet snorted. "Yeah, sure." She noticed now that Stormhowl was propped right next to the bed up against the wall, just like it was last time they shared a bed. It was within arm's reach of the samurai. "But in all seriousness… thank you. You didn't have to tag along with me at Hellawes and I'm sure I gave you every reason to leave… and yet you stayed…"

"Of course. To the staying bit… not the every reason to leave bit." He laughed. "Even disregarding the debt, I'm sure I would have still followed you around out of sheer curiosity. I admired your resolve. Still do."

Velvet smiled weakly at him. She was tempted to thank him again but she couldn't bring herself to say it. Instead her words took a completely different route than she could imagine. "You mean a lot to me, Rokurou."

This whole time he never showed emotion even through his retelling of traumatic events, but now his eyes were deeply yearning, almost wounded. His eyes shifted ever so slightly and Velvet recognized it from the night they fell into the ocean - he was thinking about kissing her. _And you mean everything to me,_ was what he wanted to say. Instead he smiled faintly. "I'm glad I could help."

"Just… remember that, okay?" She leaned a little closer, her golden eyes searching. "Because of what your brother did, your mother's death may seem meaningless and at one point you felt that your life no longer held any meaning… maybe you still do. I already told you that I'd care if you died, Rokurou, but I want you to know that your life _means something to me_. You're not just an ally or a tool for me to use in my revenge and even though me sleeping with you kind of looks like I'm just using you for some means to an end - you're more than that. You say that you must repay what is owed even if it costs you your life - don't _die_ for me, Rokurou. _Live_ for me. Stay alive… for me."

The samurai was so still across from her that she wondered if his heart had stilled as well. After a long pause of silence he said in a reverent voice, "I think the human version of me would have been moved by your words and promised to stay alive, despite the circumstances."

"What would the daemon version of you say?" Velvet's words had a tone of annoyance, but her expression yearned for his answer. "That's all I care about at this point, since that's what you _are_."

Rokurou smiled devilishly as if he were going to give her a mischievous response. "I have no idea."

Velvet blinked, frowning. "Rokurou… I've heard it in the way you say things, I've seen it in your actions. You claim you don't feel emotion anymore, but you _do_. I know you do. Deep down, you feel _something_. Life may have lost meaning at one point, but that doesn't mean it's meaningless forever. There must be-"

"You're the meaning in my life." He cut her off, his tone genuine, causing her amber eyes to widen ever so slightly. He probably would have been surprised when he was human that he actually said that, but his expression was calm and thoughtful. "I don't think about killing myself anymore. I haven't since I… died. My mind doesn't wander to those dark places anymore. I don't mindlessly twirl a blade in my hand and think about driving it up through my chin. Yeah, I still feel like my life is pretty meaningless… and killing Shigure was my only drive in life. I have no idea what I'll do after I fight him - whether I kill him and live, or die by his sword - but if I survive, I'll just… continue to survive, I guess. But then I met you and that changed everything. I feel an impulsive _need_ to help you avenge your brother…. Perhaps because I could never avenge mine."

Velvet was in a stunned state of sorrow, her eyebrows creasing in sympathy. "I don't know what it's like to want to kill yourself… but I know what it's like to hate yourself. I would guess those feelings are similar to a degree. The malevolence that changed you into a daemon was probably a hidden kindness… stripping away those feelings from your mind."

"It stripped away a lot of things." He said this with a smile, and the paradox of the samurai still baffled her mind. "The only thing human about me is my appearance."

"I would say there's more to being human than merely feeling emotion…" Velvet mused. "We have our sense of reason, our intellect… We feel pain on a greater level than animals…"

"Well, even _fish_ can feel pain. Malaks that look more akin to animals can be incredibly intelligent. So what does it mean to be human?" Rokurou tilted his head slightly. "You feel emotion, moreso than most, and yet you feel anything but human. You tell Phi he is a living person who can decide his own fate, but not long ago he was a will-less, mindless tool. Artotius is technically human but you call him a monster for what he's done. I can guarantee you I've slaughtered more people than Artorius and I'm a daemon but you seem to be convinced otherwise. Technicalities aside, what does it mean to be human?"

Velvet was quiet a moment, unsure of how to answer his question. She had many contradictions regarding the subject as he had pointed out. Rokurou _had_ murdered countless people… she had no idea what kind of size that number amounted to, but from what he had said in the past it had to be so many he'd lost count. She wasn't all that different. She consumed daemons while in Titania on a daily basis, and at some point she stopped counting. But they were just mindless, bloodthirsty daemons, right? And yet here she was befriending and defending and even _loving_ arguably the most dangerous daemon of them all. Those daemons were once human. Rokurou was once human. How could she justify her murders by saying that they were only bloodthirsty daemons, and yet give Rokurou the treatment and respect of a human? Where was the line drawn? What did it mean to be human?

Finally her voice broke the silence, her tone reverent. "Why do birds fly?"

Rokurou smiled. "Answering a question with another question, huh?" He shrugged, frowning. "Because they can?"

She was surprised at how quickly he answered. She still wasn't sure what kind of an answer Artorius expected from such a question, but just like the samurai's very nature Rokurou's answer was simple and straightforward. "Perhaps that's your answer. Perhaps what it means to be human is to… just be human. Because you can. Because you _want_ to be. I suppose not everyone can technically be human, but if we can… we _try_. We try our damned best to live the life we want for ourselves. You don't need a purpose or a meaning to live, Rokurou. You just need the desire to live. If you truly want it you'll fight for it. Having a desire in your heart you're willing to defend with your life… that's what I think it means to be human."

He stared at her, his lips curling into a mischievous grin. "Even if it's a desire you don't fully understand?"

"Especially if you don't understand. If you don't understand, that means it's an impulse of your heart. Logic cannot define the impulses of our desires."

"You told me I had heart." His expression almost looked sad as he looked down at her. "How can that be when I have no emotion?"

"I think you feel more emotion than you give yourself credit for." Velvet said softly. "There may be certain things you don't feel anymore but…" She narrowed her eyes, her voice cutting sharp. "Why did you try to kiss me that one night?" That question kept burning inside her and she wanted to know _why_.

His eyes glanced away. It wasn't so much a gesture of nervousness as it was one of annoyance at having to answer her question. "Because I wanted to?"

"Not because you could."

"I guess birds don't just fly because they can, then."

"And I guess you didn't try to kiss me simply because you can."

"So I _can_ kiss you." It wasn't so much a question as an affirmation. He had the same look in his eyes as when he saw a challenge, his grin widening.

"I never granted you such permission." She wasn't sure if the fluttering in her stomach was the urge to punch him or grab him by his yukata and press her lips upon his. It seemed everything in regards to the samurai would be conflicting in nature. "So you _do_ feel something. An emotion. Towards me."

"Like I said… you're the meaning in my life, Vel. Interpret that how you will." He stood up from the bed and started to shrug off his yukata.

"What are you-" She started to protest but saw he was wearing shorts underneath. Her face must have still held confusion as Rokurou decided to elaborate.

"What? I get hot at night. Or does this make the Lord of Calamity _uncomfortable?_ " He raised his eyebrows suggestively at her, and Velvet was even more conflicted about the punching versus kissing dilemma. She had seen him shirtless plenty of times before, so why was this time any different?

"No." She said a little too firmly as if she were also trying to convince herself. She moved to lay on her side, her back facing him while she stared at the wall. She was having the hardest time figuring out the yaksha and it didn't help that her emotions kept interfering. The candle was extinguished, plunging the room into darkness, and she felt the bed move with his weight as he became situated lying next to her. She wondered idly if she were human if she would be able to feel the heat of his body against her back but her thoughts were scrambled as she realized his front was pressing up against her back, his arm wrapping around her and his chin resting just above her head.

"Um… Rokurou?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing."

"You wanted to sleep with me in case you woke up in a rage. Facing you this way allows me to more easily hold you down in case that happens."

 _Damn him and his logic._ Velvet couldn't argue with what he said. If he was facing the other way, no matter how strong his reflexes, she could still easily pin him down with her therion claw. He wouldn't be much use if she accidentally _ate_ him. She wondered sometimes if being around Rokurou helped starve off her hunger as a therion. A yaksha was supposedly a more malevolent form of a daemon, and having him in close proximity to her gave her the kind of comfort felt after partaking of a savory meal. With his arm resting gently around her torso and feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest against her back, she felt something she hadn't felt in _years_.

Safe.

"Thank you, Rokurou."

"You're welcome, Vel."

\---


End file.
